love me or lie to me.

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”-Stephen Chbosky

From one day to the next,

I know its bit harsh.

to end it so suddenly,

but imagine it like ripping off a band aid.

The quicker you end it,

the less you’ll suffer in the long run.

It may sting a bit at first, but it fades fast.

The feelings are fleeting,

and the pain subsides.

That’s what I wanted,

to make it painless.

To end it quickly.

Whats the point of dragging out a melodramatic drama,

an extravagant romance?

to be left in pieces at the end..

I never even gave him the chance,

a chance to understand why I am the way I am.

I could never let him in.

I knew from the beginning…

It was doomed from the start.

-Lie to me.

everythings a blur

thoughts are coming too fast

breathe breathe

slow it down

the blade cuts slow

air rushes in

the world is still

breathing steady s

blood pours slow.

-Lie to me.

Your fucking up, but its the truth, and its better to just put it out there than keep it bottled up and have regrets later because you didn’t know, wondering if it would have made a difference, and maybe I sound absolutely crazy right now saying anything, but I’m saying it. -Lie to me.

Your fucking up, but its the truth, and its better to just put it out there than keep it bottled up and have regrets later because you didn’t know, wondering if it would have made a difference, and maybe I sound absolutely crazy right now saying anything, but I’m saying it.

-Lie to me.

(Source: royalprincass, via adrink4thehorror)

When I think of him my stomach clenches,

my head fills, my mind whirls,

I get this dizzying feeling.

This feeling wont go away. I’m falling.

But it hurts some how. Its too hard, to let someone in.

But he didn’t want to be with me, I try to hold back my feelings.

You don’t know how ugly it feels, to put yourself out there,

to say to someone I want you and for them to reject you.

And to know that the whole time he wants someone else.

When he kisses your lips he wishes they were hers.

How disgusting you feel after he leaves and your all alone.

You feel like nothing.

Because you mean nothing to him.

I get attached to quickly.

I throw my whole self into it, I’m too giving with myself.

Its not him, its me I don’t believe I’m good enough for anyone,

everything they say I play in my mind.

I try to tell myself they don’t care they don’t care.

I crush myself, my heart, before they get the chance.

Its my problem, not theirs.

My own insecurities, that I try and blame other people for.

That I try to justify.

That sick feeling after the butterfly’s,

I caused it.

I hurt myself.

And as I do this I tell myself,

stop what your doing, your fucking up.

But it all keeps going.

-Lie to me.